ok so im sorry if no one cares about this but i had to get my thoughts out of my head because its 2 am and im about to be pushed over the edge. i was doing so well with myself, i had gone about 20 days without it and tonight its gotten so much worse and i know imm gonna end up throwing it all out the window. now im freaking out and on the verge of puking because i need to do it but my blade is not with me and i dont want to bc ive been doing so well but i have to bc ill drive myself insane if i dont and i just need something someone anything if anyone just wants to talk please do if you want to message me its fine i just need to get my mind off of things. i dont even know what things. ive just got a funny feeling and i know its because im about to explode. im so sorry.

I’ve got a bad case of the 3:00 am guilts -you know, when you lie in bed awake and replay all those things you didn’t do right? Because, as we all know, nothing solves insomnia like a nice warm glass of regret, depression and self-loathing. - D.D. Barant, Dying Bites (via uglypnis)

(Source: left-nut, via ithought-itwaseasy)


I never thought I’d be “that” person who would isolate alone 
I never thought I’d be ”that” person to starve myself
I never thought I’d be ”that” person who hurts myself
I never thought I’d be ”that” person to want to die so badly
I never thought I’d turn out the way I have
I just want to be happy like everyone else


I’m becoming more silent these days. I’m speaking less and less in public. But my eyes, god damn, my eyes see everything. - (via ora-le)

(Source: c0ntemplations, via badhabits-takemeawayfromhere)


im like 60% sadness and 40% bad jokes

(via hi)


i miss when i was like 12 and it would be the night before a big field trip or something and i couldnt go to sleep because i was so excited. i miss being so into a book that i would stay up past my bed time reading it. everything seems so bland or something idk. i’m only 19 and everything is so tiring. i miss wanting to be awake

(via lovedthestarstootruly)

I seek to learn about the world around me. I seek to learn about what I actually am. I seek to learn how to be a proper human being. - Ringu Tulku (via degreeschelsius)

(Source: thecalminside, via strawberryelectric48)